


Shatter

by rosettaevans16



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Original Character(s), Post-Anime, jeanmarco
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-18
Updated: 2014-09-04
Packaged: 2018-02-09 08:55:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1976811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosettaevans16/pseuds/rosettaevans16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year after the Battle of Trost, Annie escaped from her crystal. Now, only questions remain; How did she do it? Who is she working with? What will she and her cohorts’ next moves be?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have no way to defend this. This is literally for my own self-indulgence. It's going to be a long, sad story, and hopefully you guys enjoy it.

_In an abandoned village deep within the territory of Wall Maria, two boys sat in the pin-silent streets, surrounded by old, crumbling buildings, and overgrown, wild flora. They clung to each other as if they were each other's lifelines, tears streaming freely down the dark-haired child's face. The other blond child held his friend close, attempting to comfort him, all the while trying not to cry himself. Please, he thought, shutting his eyes tightly and squeezing the sobbing form in his arms._ Please, someone, find us…

_They didn't know how long they had sat there for when a soft set of footsteps padded toward them and stopped in front of them._

_"Why are you crying?" a voice inquired, equally as soft as the footsteps it belonged to. The boys looked up at the owner of the voice, one in fear, one in angry defence. A young boy, approximately their own age of nine years, with a short, black undercut and freckles smattered haphazardly across his cheeks, stood in front of them, his hands clasped behind his back and his expression full of concern. The blond pulled his friend closer, as if trying to protect him from the stranger._

_"Who are you?"_

_"Why are you crying?" the boy asked again._

_"I asked you first."_

_"I asked you second."_

_The blond huffed in annoyance at the stranger's childish behavior while the raven haired male hastily wiped his eyes with an oversized sleeve._

_" Everyone's gone," he began, swallowing hard. "Everyone's gone, and they've left us. They left us all alone, because –"_

_A choked sob cut him off, and he quickly buried his face in his friend's shirt once more. The boy held him close, finishing the thought for him._

_"Because of what we are. Monsters."_

_There was a long pause. The duo waited, expecting the boy to leave._

_"You're not monsters." Both kids heads snapped up. The look of concern on the freckled stranger’s face was no more, now replaced with a kind, almost angelic smile."You're human. Just like the people who lived here once. Just like the people in the towns. You are human. And you're not necessarily alone either." He gestured toward them, the smile never leaving his face."You have each other. And if you have at least one person by your side, it makes everything a little more bearable. Plus, I'm here." The kindness in the child's eyes shone clear as he held out a hand to each of them._

_"I'm here, and I'm not going to leave you anytime soon."_

***********

"She's gone!"

"The shifter is gone!"

"How is that possible?"

"She's escaped?"

Reiner and Bertholdt stood against the wall, watching as soldiers ran past them in a panic, and listening to their voices carry through the hall.

" Reiner…" Bertholdt leaned in and whispered to the figure beside him," They – they aren't talking about Annie, are they?"

Reiner was silent for a moment, deep in thought, a look of concentration on his face. "I don't know," he stated finally. He grabbed Bertholdt's wrist, pulling the two of them into the rush of people making their way to the dungeon. "Let's go find out."

**********

The crowd of people gathered around a single area in the dungeon- the area where Annie's crystal stood- all looking around nervously and speaking to one another in hushed tones. Reiner and Bertholdt pushed through the crowd, stopping dead in their tracks upon laying eyes on the scene in front of them.

Hundreds of crystal shards littered the ground, the front of the large, now smoking crystal completely destroyed. Inside, where a 5-foot teenage girl once resided, now held a dark, gaping hole.

"What do you reckon happened?"

"Did she just smash her way out?"

"How..." Bertholdt breathed, staring at the crystal remains with a mixture of awe and disbelief. "How is this possible?"

"Out of my way!" Before Reiner could speak, a voice roared over the clamour filling the dungeon. The two boys stepped to the side as a small, strong, irritated figure pushed to the front of the crowd. Corporal Levi stopped in front of the mass of people, surveying the scene with his same look of distaste. The only indication that he was feeling anything was the slight widening of his eyes and tightening of his jaw. His abrupt halt caused his two tails to crash into him; one muttering curses under his breath, the other profusely apologizing for his clumsiness. Reiner and Bertholdt watched as the two young men behind the corporal took in the sight before them, their expressions slowly changing; the brunet, Eren, wore an expression of pure horror, the dual-tone-haired teen, Jean, wearing one of anger and pain.

"No..." Jean said quietly, his face contorting in rage and his hands raising to run through his hair, gripping it hard. "NO! This isn't possible, we... we had her! We had her, and she was completely unresponsive for a whole damn year, and now what? She's just gone? How the hell could this have happened?"

"Jean, calm down," A shaggy blond boy said, placing a soothing hand on his shoulder. The people had begun to speak again, all at once.

"Hey, isn't that that titan kid, Jaeger?"

"This is probably his fault."

"He did it! He helped her escape!"

"Enough!" Levi cried out, silencing the agitated mob. "Eren has been in my office the entire day; it would have been impossible for him to have done this."

"But then, how did this happen?" Eren inquired, stunned. "Did she...did she just break out of her crystal by herself? Can she do that?"

"No," Levi said thoughtfully, steel eyes scanning the shattered crystal once more. "No, I don't believe that she broke out herself. Not only would she have had to use a tremendous force to actually break the surface, but she’d then have to get by the guards unnoticed. Seeing how the guards have all been knocked unconscious, and there would have been no way to knock one out before the other saw her and called out to someone, there's just no way for her to have escaped with the little strength she would have had left in her. No, she had someone helping her. Someone who seriously knew what they were doing."

Reiner and Bertholdt exchanged discreet looks of distress and more than a little confusion. It hadn't been either of them. So who would be willing to risk being caught to break Annie free? And more importantly, why?

**********

Unable to stand the constant chatter revolving around the events that took place that afternoon, Reiner and Bertholdt slipped away from dinner early, fully intending to pack it in for the night and discuss the situation the following morning. However, their plans were abruptly changed, when the blond walked into the boy's barracks, and discovered a small note folded up on his pillow.

"Meet on east wall," it had read.

The pair stood in silence for a moment, unspoken questions weighing heavily in the air.

"You don't think..?" Reiner trailed off, uncertain of his own voice.

Bertholdt nodded. "It's her. It has to be."

Reiner let out a shaky breath, still holding the note firmly in his grasp, and sat down heavily onto the bed. "We'll have to wait until after everyone’s asleep. There'll be less of a chance of being caught then."

Bertholdt nodded again, sitting down across from the blond in his respective bunk.

"So much for going to sleep early."

**********

The top of Wall Rose was illuminated by the bright light of the moon that night, giving it an eerie sort of aura. The two boys walked slowly along the top in silence, refusing to walk too far away from one another.

"Reiner," Bertholdt began quietly. "Do you think it really is her?"

"I don't know," Reiner admitted, staring at the ground as they walked. "It could be her. But, it could also be something totally different. We have to be prepared for anything." Suddenly, Bertholdt gasped, stopping in his tracks.

"Bertl?" Reiner stopped at his side, looking up at the significantly taller of the two. His gaze followed that of his friend's, which was trained straight ahead of them. Just a few meters in front of them, stood two figures; one was that of a short, platinum blonde woman, with ice blue eyes and an apathetic expression, the other a much taller figure, clad in a black hooded cloak that covered their body and their face thoroughly.

" Annie…" Reiner breathed, stunned. It was her. It was actually her.

" Annie!" Bertholdt called out, beginning to close the distance between them in long, hurried strides. The woman turned, and her icy gaze became warm upon seeing them. Reiner quickly followed Bertholdt, not stopping until he held his friend in his arms, her face pressed to his chest and her arms wound tightly around him.

" Reiner," she said quietly, pulling away to smile at him and swivelling around to hug the other, slightly taller teen beside her." Bertholdt. God, I've missed you two."

"We've missed you too, Annie." Bertholdt smiled at her, tears in his eyes. "It's good to speak to you again. It's been… Weird, not having you around."

"Annie, what happened? Did someone break you out?"

"Right. About that." Annie flicked a strand of hair from her face, amused. "Now that's an interesting story. Someone did, in fact, break me out. How, he wouldn't tell me."

"But, who?" Reiner inquired impatiently. "Who was it?"

"That would have been me."

The two boys froze upon hearing the familiar voice, the soft, sweet voice that had saved them seven years ago.

No… That was impossible…

Slowly, they turned to face the cloaked figure they had seen beforehand, who had removed his hood to reveal a short, black undercut, freckle smattered across his cheeks, and a near angelic smile.

No way…

"Marco?"

**********

_"I'm here, and I'm not going to leave you anytime soon."_

_Silence fell between the three young boys, before the blond finally spoke._

_"… Promise?"_

_His question was barely above a whisper, but the brunet's smile widened in response."I promise."_

_The duo met each other's eyes, as if communicating with only their gaze. Finally, they both nodded, and reached out to take the stranger's hands. He pulled, and in an instant both boys were on their feet, facing the boy properly. "What are your names?" he asked, letting go of their hands._

_"Reiner," stated the blond, and gestured to his friend,"and this is Bertholdt."_

_"Hello," Bertholdt waved shyly. The other boy giggled and waved back._

_"I'm Marco," he said cheerfully, smiling once again._

_"Thank you," Bertholdt said quietly,"Thank you. For finding us."_

_"Of course!" Marco surveyed the two boys, still smiling, an eerie darkness overtaking the kindness in his eyes._

_"So, now, will you stay with me?"_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I told you that no matter what happened, I was alright."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, a new chapter! Hopefully you guys like this as much as you did the last.  
> If I tag anything incorrectly, or forget something, please don't hesitate to tell me.  
> Okay here you go! ^.^

_The sky had clouded over around them, leaving it a dull, ashy grey. It was almost as if the very heavens were reflecting the bleak outlook for humanity._

_They were losing; Titans had infiltrated Trost, the city teeming with 5- and 7-metre classes. With the advanced team decimated and the supply team having abandoned the surviving soldiers, it seemed that hope for survival had been diminished into nonexistence._

_And it was entirely their doing._

_A group of four stood by, watching the fight slowly leave their comrades' eyes. All had gone according to plan so far; now it was just a matter of taking Wall Rose once and for all. Yet, the question continue to float around them, poisoning the minds with doubt and uncertainty; after seeing so many die to protect the wall, could they go through with it?_

_"Reiner," the shortest of the four, Annie, began. "What should we do?"_

_"Nothing yet," came the reply from the blond male, with Bertholdt nodding in agreement. "If we do it, we'll do it all together."_

_"It's hopeless…" The three jumped at the sound of Marco's voice. He had been so quiet that they had temporarily forgotten that he was even there. "There's no way that any of us can make it out of this town alive."_

_A stunned silence followed the freckled boy's words. Hadn't that been the point?_

_"I knew I could die… But what am I dying for?" His eyes flitted back to the roof adjacent to where they were standing, back to where the dual-toned-haired teen that he called his best friend was sitting. "What… What are they dying for?"_

_Two years ago, he wouldn't have even blinked at the prospect of sacrificing any of those people for the good of the mission. But now…_

_The very thought of Jean being knocked out of the air, thrown to the ground, and brutally killed made Marco's throat close up and his chest tighten painfully, as if his very being were rejecting the possibility._

_Being what he was, he couldn't afford to care for anyone other than himself; caring for others more often than not meant hurting others. Yet he had become emotionally attached to the young man, and now he was paying the consequences for it._

_He needed to get away. He needed out._

_Marco closed his eyes, clenching his teeth together and tightening his hands into fists. It was obvious what needed to be done._

_"Reiner," he started, his voice barely above a whisper. "Bertholdt. Annie. Listen up."_

_Instantly, he had grasped all three of their undivided attentions._

_"No matter what happens today, know that I'm all right," he said under his breath. "I'm alright, you are to continue the mission whether I'm there or not. Understood?"_

_"Marco," Bertholdt began, confused. "What –"_

_"Annie!" He was cut off by the sound of Mikasa's urgent voice. The trio turn, speaking to her briefly and pointing her in the direction of where Armin sat. However, when they turned back to question Marco further, he had already moved to Jean's side, and was deep in conversation with him._

_He was 'alright'? What has he possibly meant by that?_

**********

"Marco?"

The young man's smile widened upon hearing his own name, and he opened his arms to them invitingly. "It's so nice to see you boys again."

"I –" Reiner started, unsure of what to say. What do you say when your friend suddenly returns from the dead? Instead of saying anything, the blond opted to take Marco's unspoken invitation and moved forward to pull him close. The boy laughed when Bertholdt quickly did the same, and he wrapped his arms around both of them.

"You're alive…" The raven haired male said softly, disbelievingly.

"I didn't believe it at first either." Annie moved beside the three, arms crossed over her chest, smiling ever so slightly.

"How is this possible?" The two pulled away to hear the answer; while they were unspeakably happy, they couldn't help but feel confused.

"Don't you remember?" Marco gave them an incredulous look. "What I said to you, in Trost? I told you that no matter what happened, _I was alright._ "

"But how were we supposed to know that that included your own death?" Bertholdt pressed on, "Marco, Jean found your body. You will burned in the middle the streets –"

He fell silent, as he witnessed a sharp flash of pain cross the freckled boy's face, and quickly disappear behind an impassive mask. "That," he began, looking away,"wasn't my body. It was someone else, someone similar looking. I – I don't know his name."

Reiner vaguely knew who it was that he was talking about; the boy that Sasha had saved from falling off of Wall Rose a year ago. They had mistaken him for Marco many times before.

"Did you – was his body planted there?" asked Reiner. "You know, so Jean –"

"Reiner." Annie cut him off sharply, giving him a look that clearly told him that Jean Kirschtein was not to be discussed.

"It's fine," Marco said lightly, the smile he shot them coming off as more of a grimace that anything.

"Yes, his body was planted to stand in for my own. I did not, however, expect Jean to find him. I had planned for someone else to find him, and identify him as myself. Yet, the way Jean found out, while it wasn't as planned, seemed to work out in our favor after all."

A pregnant pause followed the male's words. The unspoken questions hung heavy in the air, simply waiting for someone to voice them.

"So, what happens now?" Annie finally asked, breaking the silence that had settled around them. "Now that we are all here, do we continue on as planned?“

Marco nodded. "Yes, I believe so. I meet with the boss tomorrow. We'll figure out how to proceed from there. Now, Reiner, Bertholdt," the freckled teen turned toward the two boys, a tinge of remorse shining through his otherwise unreadable expression. "I know I've left you alone for a year now, and it probably seems like I deserted and deceived you. For that, I am sorry. But now, I need you to make a decision."

Marco smiled: a twisted, dark, familiar smile.

"Will you stay with me?"

**********

_I walk into the boy's barracks, exhausted from the day of training. Luckily, no one has seen me slip away, so I'm looking forward to having the room to myself for at least an hour before that asshole Jaeger interrupts. Honestly, that kid has no sense of when to shut the fuck up._

_When I open the door, I'm surprised to see someone already there, waiting for me._

_"Marco."_

_The boy smiles, and steps forward to take my hands in his. The gesture doesn't come off as strange; it's normal for us and, more or less, comforting. I'm not entirely certain whether what's between us is anything more than friendship, or if either of us would even be interested in that. But in this moment, it doesn't matter. I'm just happy to be with him, right now._

_He opens his mouth to speak and quickly shuts again, looking away. It was then that I really notice the unsettling tension in the air around us._

_"… Marco?"_

_He raises his eyes to meet mine, his gaze full of sadness and regret._

_"What's the matter?" I ask. Was he hurt? Did someone do something to him?_

_Did I do something to him?_

_"Jean, I –" he swallows, before trying again._

_"I need… I need to tell you, that… I'm sorry."_

_"Huh? What do you have to be sorry for?"_

_He looks as if he's about to cry, and I can't help but feel a slight pang of worry._

_"I'm sorry… For leaving you. I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye to you, Jean."_

_"What –"_

_And then the scene changes, and I'm once again standing in front of his dead body, half of his face and torso missing. Though his form is still and lifeless, I can still hear his voice in my head._

_"I'm sorry, Jean, I'm so sorry."_

_"Goodbye."_

**********

Jean woke with a startled cry, chest heaving and cold sweat pouring down his face. He looked around frantically, trying desperately identify his surroundings. When he saw his fellow soldiers still sleeping around him, he fell back on his bunk, sighing as he wiped the sweat from his brow. It'd been just another dream.

"Oi, Marco," he said quietly, to no one in particular. "Won't you ever let me sleep again?"

**********

Everyone was already in the mess hall by the time the dual-toned headed teen made his way down to breakfast.

"You look like shit," Eren commented as he sat down, giving him a once-over and smirking. Jean didn't have the time nor the energy to start a fight with him over his words; he had long forgone reacting to Eren's taunts as it only resulted in both of them getting chewed out (and on occasion, smacked) by their Captain. Instead, he chose to express his lack of interest in the boy's statement by simply flipping him off.

"Couldn't sleep very well last night," was all he said before turning his attention to his food. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught the sympathetic look Mikasa shot him. If there was anyone who understood his lack of rest, it was her, having roused him from his nightmares on more than one occasion.

"Hey." Connie sat down beside Sasha, his tone anxious. "Have any of you seen Bertholdt and Reiner recently?"

Everyone shook their heads, and began looking around them, trying to see if they could spot the duo's whereabouts.

"Well, they went to bed fairly early last night… " Krista said thoughtfully.

Jean chimed in, "And they were there when we all went back to the barracks."

"But," Eren added quietly," I didn't see them when I got up this morning, and I was up cleaning at dawn."

Jean watched as Armin shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his blond locks covering part of his eyes. They shifted, and he locked gazes with Jean for a moment, his bright blue eyes betraying his thoughts before he could look away again.

"Armin," Jean started, his tone dangerous. "What do you know?"

"Ahh," the boy fidgeted again, looking anywhere but his peers. "I-it's not that I know anything, per se –"

"Armin, now is not the time to play games," Jean said, his voice rising. "Tell me what you know about this."

Armin's eyes flew up to meet Jean's amber ones, fear and unease evident in his demeanor. Eventually, he sighed, pulling his eyes away.

"I… I had – suspicions…" Armin said hesitantly, staring at his plate as if it were the most interesting thing in the universe. "I thought, it was always a possibility, what with Reiner and Bertholdt being so close to Annie… It's very possible that – that t-they aren't that different from her….And that… Now, that she's out of the crystal, they might be with her…"

The shocked silence followed the boy's words, sinking into their minds like poison.

"So," Jean said finally. "What you're saying is that you think Reiner and Bertl, are… Titan shifters as well?"

"No," Eren retorted instantly, a certain sense of finality in his tone. "That isn't true. They can't be –"

"Eren, it's not unlikely," Mikasa cut in, a soft tone in her voice.

"But they're our friends! They wouldn't –"

"You don't know that. Remember, you took the same perspective with Annie. We might not know Reiner and Bertholdt as well as we thought. That's something you have to accept as a possibility."

A defeated expression filled the brunet's face, and he looked down at his hands, silent.

"What should we do?" Inquired Sasha, her breakfast sitting in front of her, forgotten. "Should we take this to the higher ups?"

"W-wait a second!" Armin jumped in. "There isn't actually any proof to support my theories. They are simply just that – theories. We can't take something as open-ended as this to the commander without any supporting evidence! He already has so much on his plate – we shouldn't pile this on as well until we're certain of it."

Jean shook his head. "No, we have to tell him. What with the next expedition coming up so quickly, he has to be aware of all possible threats, even if they aren't confirmed."

"But–"

"Armin, you’re doubting yourself again. You seem to forget that you've been right about this before. And I'm willing to bet that you'll be at least somewhat correct about this."  
His eyes met Armin's wide, uncertain gaze, his tone softening.

"The commander highly regards your opinions, and he'll want to hear your theories on this. Proof or not, you have to tell him."

Armin fell silent, his nails digging into the palm of his hand: a nervous habit of his that Jean had begun to notice.

"Fine," he sighed, defeated. "I'll go after breakfast."

"I'll come as well," Mikasa piped in.

"Same here," grumbled Eren. Jean nodded in agreement.

"Thank you, guys," the blond said softly, touched by the gesture. "Really, thank you."

"I just hope that they listen to us."

**********

A tall figure, shroud in a black cloak with his hood raised to hide his face, strode down the long hallway and into a small room. It was a rather bare, plain looking room, resembling that of an office space with pale gray walls and a polished wooden floor. Light shone through the curtains of the window situated directly across the room from the door. Under the window sat a dark wooden desk with a chair both in front and behind it.

No light broke through the window as the figure walked into the office, stopping upon seeing the tall, grey-haired man perched behind the desk. The man turned to look at him expectantly, and his small, pleasant smile grew as the figure pushed away their hood and revealed himself.

"Ah, Marco," the man addressed the figure in a light, airy tone. "It's good to see you again."

Marco return the smile with his own polite one, raising his fist over his heart in a show of respect: a habit that he'd never been able to break.

"Hello, Demetrius."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter: The meeting between Marco and the Boss.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boy sniffled. "Like, a hero in a story?"
> 
> The man chucked in response. "Yes, exactly like a hero in a story."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay new chapter! From now on, its going to take a lot longer to update, as this was a bit of a chapter dump for me.  
> Anyway, here you go!

_A shrill scream wailed through the still night, and the door of one of the many small buildings throughout the streets slammed open. Through that open door, a small child barrelled through and sprinted down the road, not stopping until he was far, far away from the house, gasping desperately for air. He turned onto a dark, narrow street and collapsed, his short, raven-coloured bangs clinging to his forehead, and a large gash marring his pale, sun-spotted cheek. With his back pressed against the stone structure, he wrapped his arms around his small frame as if attempting to prevent himself from shattering apart._

_This always seemed to happen to him. It was always the same; whenever he was around, someone got hurt. Every time he was injured, someone got hurt. This time, it had been the woman who had agreed to take him from his last home._

_The boy lifted a shaking hand to the bleeding cut on his face, wincing as his fingers made contact with the abnormally hot, sticky substance there. He pulled his hand away to take a look at it, watching as the red liquid covering his fingertips steamed and smoked, until it had completely evaporated away._

_He had never_ meant _to hurt her. On the contrary, he had consistently taken measures so as not to. This time, it seemed, it had been inevitable. Closing his eyes, he wiped his tears away and watched the event play out behind his lids as if he were still right there: the little girl he shared a guardian and a home with throwing one of her raging temper tantrums, the glass she had kicked exploding against the wall, one of the longer shards catching his freckled cheek as it fell to the floor, the kind, smiling woman reaching for him, caring for him, despite all his warnings to stay back, and to keep away, and that she was going to get hurt, and to not touch him, and_ why hadn't she just listened to him??

_He reached up once more to touch his injured cheek, finding only warm, smooth skin, all evidence of the incident destroyed._

_'Strange' was a common word used to describe him, and his ability to rapidly heal. 'Odd' was another. Weird. Bizarre. Cursed. Freak._

_Monster._

_A choked sob tore out of the boy's throat, and he brought his knees to his chest, curling up and burying his face in his arms, the word 'monster' still ringing in his ears, over and over._

_He didn't know how long he had sat there, stifling his sobs into his jacket sleeves, before he felt the presence of another person close by to him. Lifting his head, his soft brown eyes panned up from the pair of boots in front of him, up his body, up and up, until they met hard, steely blue eyes._

_"Hello there," the man said softly, kneeling down in front of him, the child's eyes never leaving his own. "Are you all by yourself out here?"_

_When he received no answer, he reached forward to tap his shoulder. "Hey, anyone there?"_

_"Don't touch me," the boy responded immediately, shrinking away from the man's extended hand. "I don't –" His voice broke off, and tears gathered in his eyes once again, threatening to overflow. "I don't want to hurt you, too."_

_The quavering drops of tears finally spilled down his cheeks, and the boy buried his face in his arms again, pulling his knees more tightly to his chest. A hand touched his cheek gingerly and was quickly withdrawn with a sharp intake of breath._

_"You're burning up," the man commented._

_"I'm sorry," the young boy whimpered, flinching violently away from the man's touch._

_He sighed, running his hand through his long grey hair. "You're not going to hurt me, kid."_

_"You don't know that."_

_"Yes, I do. You can't hurt me because I'm the same as you."_

_The child stiffened, before slowly raising his head to stare at the man, his eyes wide. "... What?"_

_The man smiled reassuringly. "Here, I'll show you."_

_He reached back into his pocket and pulled out a small blade. "It's okay," he said softly, as the boy quickly began to scoot away from him. "I'm not going to hurt you. Just watch."_

_He held out his hand in front of him, and, slowly, he brought the blade down on his open palm, wincing ever so slightly as it bit into his skin, and blood began to spill from the wound. The boy leaned forward to observe what the man was showing him and gasped audibly when the weeping wound began to steam and close._

_"That's-" he whispered, letting his fingers ghost over the new skin of his cheek, where his own laceration had reacted in an identical way._

_The man smiled, and closed his newly healed hand. "We're the same."_

_"So," the boy breathed, hope shining in his eyes. "Does this mean, that I'm… normal?"_

_"No," the grey-haired man said with a shake of his head. "No, we're not normal." Seeing the boy's crestfallen expression, he continued, "We're different. We have special… powers, that not many people have."_

_The boy sniffled. "Like, a hero in a story?"_

_The man chucked in response. "Yes, exactly like a hero in a story."_

_There was a pause, as the child broke into a small smile, before he spoke again._

_"What's your name, kid?"_

_"Marco." The child wiped his eyes with the back of his hand as he spoke. "My name's Marco."_

_"Well, it's nice to meet you, Marco," the man said, his voice holding a light, cheerful tone that automatically widened the smile on the boy's face. "My name's Demetrius."_

_"It's nice to meet you, Demetrius," Marco giggled._

_"So, kid." Demetrius leaned in, a pleasant smile gracing his worn face. "Do you want to help me out and be a hero?"_

_"Yeah!" the boy exclaimed, the hope shining in his eyes blooming into outright joy._

_"Well," the man stood, holding his hand out to help Marco up. "Let's get going then."_

**********

"Hello, Demetrius."

Demetrius chuckled, his eyes sparkling with mirth. "I know it's been a while since we last saw each other, kid, but there's no need to be quite so formal."

Marco dropped his salute, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "My apologies. I didn't even realize I'd done that."

The grey-haired man outright laughed at that. "Come, Marco. Sit down. It's been too long, and we have much to discuss."

Marco nodded in response, pulling out the chair closest to him and placing himself on the hard surface. The two stared at each other for a moment before Demetrius cocked an eyebrow at him: a signal to continue speaking.

"Sir, I'm well aware that my absence, as well as Annie's previous condition, had prevented us from continuing on with the plan. However-"

"Ah, right to business, I see. I like it."

"-with the four of us reunited and in good health once again, I should like to know where your orders for us now stand," he finished, leaning back slightly and folding his hands in his lap.

Demetrius leaned forward, drumming his fingers on the polished desk surface, and surveyed him through the few strands of silvery hair that hung in front of his face. Finally, he spoke again; his tone, while still holding that pleasant airiness, was much more serious than before.

"Well, seeing as you failed to take Wall Rose a year ago, your orders will remain the same. Trost gate is now indefinitely sealed, so you must find another city to invade; preferably a city far away from where the Survey Corps is stationed."

"Ahh," began Marco uneasily. Knowing what the end goal of the mission was, there was something about the man's orders wasn't sitting right with him, "Permission to speak freely, sir?"

The drumming stopped as Demetrius pushed himself up into a sitting position. "Go on, then." The man smiled politely. "What's on your mind, kid?"

Marco straightened up in his seat, his expression remaining firm. "Sir, I'm not quite sure I agree with our current plan of action. Our efforts in the Battle for Trost have successfully lit the metaphorical fame under humanity's feet, and they are now fighting back twice as hard as before. Would not not be counterproductive to our mission, to needlessly kill more innocent people? It seems, in my own opinion, the best way to aid in the struggle would be to fight alongside them now and coax them forward, rather than diminish their hope by fighting against them?"

To Marco's surprise, Demetrius shot him what appeared to be a look of pity. "Marco, you didn't actually believe that that was the plan, did you?"

...What? "I don't understand, sir."

The grey-haired man leaned back in his seat, folding his hands neatly over his abdomen as he spoke.

"Saving humanity was never a real part of the mission."

Marco's breath caught in his throat, and his blood ran cold as he took in Demetrius' words. Surely he had misheard him.

"I don't-"

"Think about it, my boy!" cried the man, tossing his hands into the air. "Humans are weak, frail creatures; they could never stand up in a fight against the titans. No, it would be of no use to attempt to preserve humanity as it is. We must rebuild it instead. We must evolve."  
He pointed a finger at the freckled boy, who was still frozen in his chair, a gleam of excitement in his eyes.

"That's where you come in. Where we come in. Titan shifters are stronger, more durable, more capable of surviving threats. They are the evolved species. And if you have the opportunity to rebuild mankind with a stronger, sturdier base, then why would you go out of your way to save the weaker parts?"

"So," Marco began slowly, his face cast downward, and his voice devoid of all emotion. "Do you mean to tell me, that what we've been fighting for… was, in fact, not to save what remains of humankind?"

"Not what remains of humankind, no," Demetrius responded, wearing a small smile. "Humankind as a whole, however, we will be. Trying to save what the human race is now would only be in vain. In order to create a better future for humankind, we must do away with the weakest links."

The silver-haired man leaned in, his elbows resting on the desk and his piercing cobalt eyes darkening. "Unless, of course, you have a problem with that."

A long, expectant silence followed the man's statement, filling the air around the small office space.

Suddenly, like someone had flipped a switch inside of him, Marco began to laugh. It wasn't the same light, bubbly laugh he held whenever Jean became flustered, or told him an amusing story about his day, or even when he watched his best friend and his rival enter a petty argument. It was lower, colder, and when he lifted his head to meet Demetrius' steely gaze, a darkness had clouded over his normally bright, chocolate brown eyes, and an eerie smirk had formed on his freckled face.

"No, sir," he replied. "No problem at all."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have a tumblr, if you guys want to come talk to me. ----> humanitys-cleanest-corporal.tumblr.com


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Is it such a crime to want to see him again, alive and whole, just one more time?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! Back again, with a new chapter. The next one is finished as well, so it should hopefully be up soon. Enjoy!

_The door of the boys barracks creaked open, and two shadows burst through the doorway, one dragging the other by his hand through the darkness._

_“Marco-”_

_“Shh!”_

_The boy continued to be dragged by his friend, still protesting._

_“Marco, what-”_

_“Shh! Quiet down, or we’ll be caught!”_

_“Damn it, what the hell is going on?”_

_They stopped moving once they had reached the window, and the first person turned so that they were facing each other, their faces illuminated by the bright flame of the torch outside._

_“The graduation ceremony starts in 10 minutes!” One of the figures- the one that was being pulled into the room- stated in an urgent, hushed tone, his sandy blond hair falling into his eyes in disarray._

_“Then I guess I ought to make this quick,” replied the other in a playful, innocent tone, the light from the window hitting his face and accentuating every single spot on his sun-kissed skin as he smiled sweetly at his companion._

_"I have something for you, Jean."_

_Jean's expression of irritation was quickly wiped away, and replaced by one of shock._

_"You- what?"_

_Marco's smile widened as he kept his eyes trained on Jean's hand, which he still had yet to let go of._

_"I have something for you." He lifted his gaze to meet his friend's own. "Think of it as a graduation gift, of sorts."_

_Jean let out a small sigh, his features softening into a smile. "You didn't have to do that, Marco."_

_"I wanted to." Still smiling, he let go of the other male's hand to reach into his jacket pocket and, from it, produced a small blue box. "Here," he said, holding the box out to Jean. Taking it into his own hands, Jean carefully lifted the lid to reveal its contents: in it sat a thin golden chain, and attached was a small charm, which Jean could just make out as the shape of-_

_"A horse." Jean stated, staring at the necklace. A horse. Had his best friend now turned on him as well? He raised his eyes to meet Marco's with arched eyebrows. "I didn't think you, of all people, would be one to jump on the bandwagon with that joke."_

_Jean almost laughed at the freckled teen's bewildered expression. "Joke? What joke? What does that have to do with it being-" Marco's eyes widened in realization, and to Jean's surprise, he started to laugh._

_"Oh- oh my gosh," he choked out through his laughter. "Jean, I'm- I'm so sorry! I didn't even think-" He broke off again. But by that time, Jean had begun laughing as well, both boys' worries of being quiet long forgotten._

_"I didn't," Marco started after eventually having pulled himself together, "I didn't even make the connection, I swear. See, it's supposed to bring you wealth and happiness by wearing it. It's a good luck charm. If... if you don't like it, I can-"_

_"No." Jean responded immediately, pulling the box closer to his chest to prevent the other teen from taking it back and smiling warmly. "No, you don't have to. I love it. Really," he added in response to his companion's skeptical stare. "Really, I do. Thank you, Marco."_

_Marco grinned at him, and Jean could've sworn that he'd never seen a brighter, happier smile grace anyone's face than the one his friend donned before him. He would have worn that necklace whether he had hated it or not (which, he really didn't; it was quite nice) just to receive that smile._

_Jean felt his face heat up ever so slightly, distracting himself by pulling the chain from the small box and, after pocketing the box, putting it on: a task that seemed to be easier to complete in theory rather than reality._

_Jean heard his companion chuckle as he struggled with the fastener, cursing under his breath. "This should not be this difficult," he grumbled, his fingers slipping from the clasp for the umpteenth time._

_"Here, let me," he heard Marco say, and, the next thing he knew, Marco was suddenly very close to him, his arms wrapped around his neck and his hands taking over the clasp from Jean's own. He choked, spluttering out shocked, incoherent noises as his face burned a deep red._

_What the hell? What did this idiot think he was doing? The two of them had always been close, but they had never been this close, and Jean's brain was struggling to process the contact at any pace other than that of a sloth._

_Marco stopped fiddling with the clasp long enough to look down at Jean's red-stained cheeks and snicker._

_"What's the matter? Are you blushing? What are you blushing about?"_

_The little shit was_ teasing _him! Well, it wasn't_ his _idea to have Marco help him like this! Honestly, he could practically feel his taller friend's breath on his cheek! "S-shut up," he stammered out, attempting to glare up at him despite his embarrassment. "I'm just not used to being this close to someone, that's all."_

_"You get this close to Eren whenever you two fight," Marco pointed out, his tone indication that 'whenever you two fight' was easily synonymous with 'all the time'._

_"That's different!" Jean protested, his voice lowering in volume slightly. "That's always out of hatred and resentment."_

_"You hate him," the freckled boy began slowly, "but you don't hate me?"_  

_The question completely threw Jean off. "No, of course not. I could never hate you. Why-"_  

_He froze, his words dying on his tongue as he looked up at his friend, only to be met with such a saddened, heart-wrenching expression that Jean couldn't help but feel frightened. Was it something he'd said? Had he somehow caused that kind of pain on his best friend's face?_

_"Marco...?" He spoke tentatively, unsure of what to do. There was a small click, and Marco pulled away just enough that his face was no longer inches away from the other's. "There we are," he said, his usual cheerful manner back, and all traces of the previous pain erased._  

_Had he imagined it? It didn't feel like it, but perhaps it had simply been the poor lighting. Yeah, that was it._  

_Jean gently touched the small charm that now hung around his neck. "Thank you," he said, smiling softly. It really was quite nice._

_"Marco," Jean said slowly, looking up at his friend, who was still standing very close to him. "How much did you spend on this?"_

_The freckled teen simply smiled and, taking advantage of the fact that his arms were still balanced on Jean's shoulders, leaned forward until his forehead rested on Jean's, causing his_ _face to turn, if possible, an even darker shade of red. "Never mind that. The important thing is that you like it."_  

_"Marco..."_

_"Jean, don't worry about it." The boy pressed their foreheads together, making the Jean_ _wince faintly at the pressure. "When we get into the military police, I'll be able to buy you thirty of these. It's not a big deal."_

_"Please don't," Jean said with a smirk. "I like this one, but I'm not sure what I'd do with thirty of them."_

_Both boys burst out laughing, all thoughts of embarrassment and sadness gone._

_A loud clanging filled the air around them, causing both of them to jump and fall silent._

_"Oh, shit!" Jean exclaimed, panic in his eyes. "Marco, that's the signal for the ceremony to begin. We're going to be so late!"_

_Marco moved away just as Jean grabbed his hand and began yanking him out of the room._

_"C'mon, we have to haul ass if we want to get down there on time!"_

_"Okay, okay!" Marco laughed, allowing himself to be dragged along behind his friend, and out the door._

_**********_

Jean stood outside the commander's office, waiting for Eren and Armin to finish their discussion regarding Reiner and Bertholdt. Across the hallway from him stood Mikasa, who had also been denied access to the commander's office. Why it was that _they_ had to wait outside and _Eren_ didn't, he couldn't tell. All he knew was that the meeting was taking a really long time, and if Eren's bouts of shouting - which could be easily heard through the door - were any sign to go by, Jean was going to guess that the wait was his fault.

For fifteen minutes they stood in silence while he shifted and fidgeted around: partly because Jean didn't have anything to say, partly because he knew that even if he did try to talk to her, she'd steer the conversation to the one place he was not in the mood to go to.

"Hey, Mikasa?" Jean called out to her. She directed his gaze towards him and nodded to continue: the most she'd moved since they had arrived. "Do you think he's right?" He inquired. "Armin, I mean?"

"Yes," she responded without hesitation. "It's another one of his hunches, and he's never wrong about them. What about you? Do you think he's right?"

Jean nodded. "It only makes logical sense. I mean, their closest friend is captured, and on the same day she escapes, they mysteriously disappear? There's no way that can be a coincidence."

She nodded in agreement, and silence fell between themonce more, listening absently to Eren's yelling from inside the office, this time accompanied by Corporal Levi's own shouts. Opening his mouth to comment on the racket they were making, Jean's words were cut short by a sudden, exhausted yawn, which he tried and failed to stifle with his hand. The action caught Mikasa's attention, and she stared at him long and hard, her eyes glinting knowingly. Oh, no.

"Couldn't sleep last night?" She asked, her tone almost accusatory. He nodded, not willing to say anything in hopes that if he kept quiet, she'd drop the subject.

"It's those nightmares again, isn't it?" Ah, yes. There it was.

He sighed exasperatedly, running a hand through the longer, lighter bits of his hair. "Mikasa..." 

"Don't you 'Mikasa' me. How long has this been going on now?" When she received nothing but a non-committal shrug, she pressed on. "These dreams are _hurting you_ , Jean. How much longer are you going to let this continue? How much longer before you admit that you need help?"

"I don't need help," he shot back, crossing his arms over his chest defensively.

"Bullshit," she retorted. "It's been a year, Jean. This is unhealthy, and it's going to start affecting your ability to function. Talk to one of the squad leaders about it; I'm certain that they could help-"

"Stop it, Mikasa. I've told you before, and I'll tell you again; I don't need help. They're just nightmares, that's all. They'll pass eventually, just like all nightmares do. And I don't need the higher-ups, or the rest of the 104th, or even you, treating me like some sort of basket case just because I can't handle a little bad dream every now and again."

"But-" 

"Will you please just listen to me? _I'm. Fine_."

"You know what I think?" The raven-haired girl seethed, glaring daggers at him. "I think you're scared. Scared to ask for help because you know that if you do, the nightmares will end. I think you don't want help because you _like_ those dreams."

"Would that be such a bad thing?!"

Mikasa's words died on her lips as she stared at her friend, shocked by his sudden flare-up.

"Is it such a crime," he began softly, staring intensely at his boots, "to want to see him again, alive and whole, just one more time?"

His words rang in both of their ears. More shouting from inside the office punctuated the air around them, but neither they weren't paying it any mind. Finally, Jean sighed and forced himself to meet Mikasa's startled, concerned gaze.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I didn't mean it-"

"Yes you did," she cut in, all traces of anger gone from her voice. "You did, and that's alright. I think I understand a little better now."

"Hey, Jean," she began quietly. "Back when we were trainees, Eren let slip that... that you had a crush on me." He stiffened, bracing himself to deny it, when she quickly continued on. "But he was wrong, wasn't he?  I wasn't the one you had feelings for, was I?"

He didn't answer immediately, eyes cast downwards as he reached up to carefully slip the small chain that still hung around his neck from under his shirt collar and gingerly touch the small horse shaped charm that was attached to it, before wrapping his hand fully around the cold metal and gently squeezing. "No," he said finally. "I'm starting to think that you weren't."

The door to the commander's office swung open, startling both teens out of their thoughts, and out stepped Corporal Levi, looking extremely exasperated.

"Hurry up and get your asses in here, brats. Erwin wants to speaks to you," he said gruffly before turning and walking back into the office. Jean hastily tucked the chain back under his collar and started for the door, sharing a look with Mikasa as they passed. What had happened?

**********

The room that the two teens stepped into was a rather unimpressive, consisting only of a carpet, two chairs, a desk, and a few small windows on the wall opposite to the door. Behind the desk sat Commander Erwin Smith, and beside the desk to his left stood Corporal Levi, both men's expressions completely unreadable. On the two chairs opposite to the desk sat Eren, looking exceptionally pissed off, and Armin, whose expression still displayed his unease. 

"Ah, Ackerman, Kirschtein," the Commander greeted, nodding at them. "Come in. I'd offer you a seat, but I'm afraid we seem to have run out. This office really wasn't meant to hold this many people at once."

"They can take my seat," Armin's soft voice piped up as he began to rise. "I-I really don't mind standing, sir-"

"Sit down, Cadet," Levi snapped, causing Armin to physically flinch, before sitting downonce more.

Jean and Mikasa advanced forward until they were standing behind their two friends and patiently awaited the Commander's next words.

"Now," Erwin began, "I understand that the four of you had suspicions about Cadet Braun and Cadet Fubar's sudden disappearance, and the nature of it being tied to the female titan's escape, correct?"

"Yes, sir," Mikasa responded, one hand placed on Eren's shoulder in a subtle form of restrain.

"But, you have no proof of this?"

"No, sir."

"Then tell me, Ackerman, what good is this theory without any evidence to support it?"

"The theory came from Armin, sir," Mikasa replied without missing a beat, "and theories that come from him tend to be later proven correct, as seen in the initial dealings with the identity of the Female Titan. He's never steered Eren or I wrong, sir."

"Arlert doesn't seem quite as certain as you are of this theory."

"That's because I'm not certain, sir," Armin said, his voice shaking slightly but his tone firm. "When we were dealing with Annie being the Female Titan, I had proof. I always have some kind of evidence to back up my theories. With this, however, the only thing I have that could even remotely support this is the fact that Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie were close friends, and that the two of them disappeared less than twenty fourhours after Annie. That doesn't feel like enough."

"Exactly,” Eren piped up, his jaw set. "It's also possible that the two events had nothing to do with one another. Perhaps they went into the city, and just haven't come back yet. There is no solid proof that they are working with Annie."

"There's also no proof that they aren't," Armin replied softly, refusing to meet his best friend's gaze.

Eren turned to face Armin, his sharp teal eyes boring into the blond's head. "Yes, there is," he bit back, his voice increasing in volume. "There's the knowledge of who they are as people that we've gained over the _past four years with them_."

"Eren..."

"No, listen to me! We grew up with these people, we went through hell with these people, we _know_ them.. They're our friends! And you're all treating them like damn criminals, when there's no proof that they've done anything wrong!!-" 

" _Eren_." 

Mikasa and Levi's voices cut Eren's rant off, both holding dangerous warning tones. Their eyes snapped up to meet each other's, glowering menacingly. The phrase 'if looks could kill' passed idly through Jean's mind as he raised his hand up to wave the commander's attention to himself.

"If I may, sir," he began, lowering his hand and standing up a little straighter. "While each side has very valid points, our intention in coming to speak to you was not to sway to one side or the other. We simply wished to let you know of our speculations, and to inform you of the possible- _possible_ -" he emphasized, returning the nasty glare that Eren had shothim, "-new threat to consider, what with our next expedition coming up so quickly. That is all."

Silence followed Jean's words, until Erwin raised his eyes to survey the four teens.

"Well then, you may consider me informed. Thank you for coming to speak with me,rather than keeping this to yourselves. We will take this into consideration while planning the expedition. You are dismissed."

"Sir!" the Cadets saluted - Eren and Armin standing hastily to do so - and began to make their way towards the exit.

"Kirschtein," the sound Erwin calling his name stopped Jean in his tracks, listening. "Hang back a moment, please."

"I'll see you at lunch," Armin whispered to him, sending him, and encouraging smile before following his friends out the door. Taking a deep breath, Jean turned and walked back to the Commander's desk, choosing to resume his previous position behind the chair. "Yes, sir?"

"Kirschtein, do you believe that Arlert's theory is true?" Erwin inquired.

"Yes sir, I do," he replied. "I believe that, contrary to what Armin says, there is enough evidence to support his theory. He's very smart, and very reliable, so I trust his judgement."

"How many people know?" Levi asked.

"Just the four of us, and a few others, corporal."

"Their names, Cadet. I need their names."

"Right. Connie Springer, Sasha Braus, Krista Lenz, and Ymir. We didn't tell anyone else.”

Erwin nodded. "Very good. that kind of knowledge could cause mass panic, and, honestly, that is the last thing we need right now. Well, that will be all, cadet. You are dismissed."

Jean nodded his head in acknowledgement. "Thank you, sir." He saluted and exited the room.

"Levi," Erwin began. "Please have a word with the other cadets, to be sure that they don't go about spreading rumours."

"Will do," he responded automatically, but made no move to leave. 

"Erwin, what are your thoughts on the two missing boys? Do you really believe they're titan shifters as well?"

Erwin said nothing for a moment, shuffling the papers on his desk around. "I don't know," he said after a awhile. "What I do know is that we have to be prepared for anything, so it most certainly shouldn't be ruled out."

He nodded. "I feel the same way." He moved from the side of the desk as he spoke. " Try not to work yourself to death."

"I'll do my best," Erwin said, smiling. "Take care, Levi."

Once the Commander heard the door close, he sighed deeply and rested his head in his hands with a groan. This was going to be one hell of an expedition. He just hoped, for everyone's sake, that Armin was wrong.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So what you're telling us, is that all the years we've been fighting, was for nothing?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I want to thank you all for reading this far. It really means a lot to me. You should know that I'm starting school again now, so chapter updates will be much less frequent. Anyway, thank you again, and enjoy!!

_"You bastard!"_

_"No... Don't..."_

_"3 years! We've been friends for 3 years, and now...what? You're one of them? Were you ever with us at all?!"_

_"Jean... Please..."_

_"We trusted you! And just like that, you betray us. Did those years all of us spent training together mean nothing to you? Did... Did what we had... Mean nothing to you?"_

_"No, it's not like that! Just... Just please listen-"_

_"No. I'm done listening to your lies."_

_"Please... Please..."_

_"You're a fucking monster. I... I hate you!"_

_"Jean!"_

_"I never want to see you again!!"_

____________

_Marco woke with a start, gasping for breath and his body shaking. He blinked hard a few times, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness and remembering where exactly he was. He sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes and looking around at all the boys still sleeping soundly in their beds. He sighed softly and brought his knees up to his chest, attempting to calm the turmoil that had taken over his mind._

_It was just a dream. It was just a dream. He was safe. Jean didn't know anything. No one knew anything. They were safe._

_Of course, Marco knew that it was only a matter of time. Their friends were all too smart to let such a thing slip past them. Eventually, someone was going to figure it out…_

_A muffled groan from beside him shocked Marco out of his train of thought, and his whipped his head around to spot the source of the sound. Jean had moved out from under his covers, and was looking up at Marco with heavy, lidded eyes._

_"Mmm...Marco?" he said quietly, his voice thick with sleep. "Hey man, what are you doing up? Is everything alright?"_

_"Yeah," Marco whispered back, forcing a smile onto his face and his heart to settle. "You just surprised me, is all. Everything's fine."_

_The boy began to push himself upwards, the covers slowly sliding off of him. "Are you sure? You know, you can talk to me if you want. And I-I-I-" Marco chuckled as Jean tried and failed to stifle a yawn. "Ahh... I promise not to fall asleep on you while you're talking."_

_"Jean," the freckled teen took his friend's hand into his own and squeezed gently: an action which was returned with a sleepy smile. "Really, I'm alright. Go back to sleep."_

_"If you say so," he mumbled, letting his body unceremoniously flop back down onto the bed. The smile slipped slowly from Marco's face as Jean's soft snores filled the air around them once more. He reached over and pulled the covers up over his friend's shoulders and smoothed his hair back away from his face. He continued to grip the other's hand, rubbing small circles with his thumb as he let his own thoughts wash over him._

_Going into this, he had never planned on making friends. The less people that got close to them, the easier it would be. But... He was starting to think he might have made a mistake in getting so close to the dual-tone haired teen that now slept in the bunk beside his. He shouldn't be feeling anything for the people around him. He shouldn't care about what anyone thinks of him. He shouldn't be, least of all, having nightmares about getting caught. And yet…_

_Marco flinched as the words from his dreams rang through his mind, cutting him like glass._

"You fucking monster!"

"I never want to see you again!"

"I hate you!"

_With one last squeeze, Marco released Jean's hand and swung his legs over the side of his bunk, and quietly stood._

_He needed to get some air. There was no way he was going to be able to sleep anytime soon, anyhow._

_With a small stretch, Marco silently padded out of the barracks and into the night air, shutting the door behind him._

*********

Marco stood in front of the door of the cabin he, Annie, Reiner, and Bertholdt shared, his hands braced on either side of the door frame, shaking. His breath was uneven, his chest tight, and his eyes wide. He couldn't remember how he'd gotten there, or even leaving Demetrius' office, for that matter. It had all been a blurry haze, with the older man's words echoing through it:

_"Saving humanity as it is, was never part of the mission."_

It had been a lie. It had all been a _lie_ , and he had ate it up like the gullible child he had been. He had been used like a tool, and he had made it so easy for Demetrius to use him. How could he have been so blind? Had he been so desperate for acceptance that he'd _chosen_ not to see? Had he been so desperate to prove that he wasn't evil, that he'd gone and become just that? Had all those people- those who had died in Shiganshina, and fought for Trost- died for nothing? What had the four of them been fighting for?

A choked noise that vaguely resembled a sob escaped Marco's throat, and he quickly clamped a hand over his  mouth. His entire body was trembling as he tried to gain some semblance of control over his breathing.

Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie... How could he face them, knowing that everything they had done had been under his orders? The three of them had killed thousands of people under his instruction, and did so with the promise that it was all for the good of humanity. He's made them, and himself, into the one thing they feared becoming the most; monsters.

What the hell was he supposed to say to them?

Before he could come up with an answer, the door to the cabin swung open, and suddenly Marco was face to face with the tallest, quietest of his comrades.

"Oh, Marco!" Bertholdt exclaimed, smiling. "I didn't know you were back. How was the meeting?"

He stopped to take in the Marco's appearance, the smile dropping from his face. "Marco, are you alright? did something happen?"

The freckled boy closed his eyes and took a deep, composing breath. He straightened up and opened his eyes again, his gaze meeting Bertholdt's steadily, his expression unreadable.

"Go get Annie and Reiner, and meet me in the kitchen. We have crucial matters to discuss."

**********

Stunned silence echoed through the small kitchen area, where the four teenagers had congregated upon Marco's request. Bertholdt, staring at empty air, sat with his hand over his mouth, unable to form any response. Reiner, sitting across from him, stared at Marco with an expression of confusion and concentration, as if working hard to process his words. Annie, sitting to the right of Reiner, had her head bowed so her eyes were blocked by her bangs, and her hands clenched tightly into fists. Marco, being the only one not sitting, stood at the opposite end of the table from Annie, staring at the hard wooden surface and allowing his speech to settle in with the others, his face clean of emotion.

Finally, it was Reiner who broke the silence.

"So, the end goal of the mission, was _not_ to help humanity survive?"

Marco nodded, refusing to raise his eyes from the table.

"But then, if that's the case, what has this all been for?"

"He," Marco began, taking a deep breath to keep his voice even. "Demetrius spoke of rebuilding the human race so that it consisted of only titan shifters. We were to weed out other shifters, and wipe out regular humans in the process."

"Oh my god," Bertholdt whispered from behind his hand, his voice trembling like a leaf in a hurricane.

There was a sudden screeching of wood scraping against wood, and Marco raised his head to see Annie up on her feet, her fist still clenched on the table, and a murderous glower darkening her features.

"So what you're telling us," Annie began to stalk toward the motionless freckled boy, "is that all the years we've been fighting, was for nothing? That all this time, we've been mere tools in the destruction of humanity? That we've been used, lied to, and deceived?"

"Yes," he responded, continuing to meet her eyes with the same blank expression. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying."

"Huh," she said nonchalantly, right before swinging her right fist at him.

Marco didn't have time to react, and the punch struck him square in the jaw, sending him reeling. Annie took advantage of his loss of balance and caught his shirt collar in a vise-like grip.

"You, you dirty, lying, son of a bitch!!!"

She slammed his body backwards against the cabinets, causing his head to snap back against them, and for the doors to rattle violently on their hinges. A chorus of startled cries of 'Annie!' and 'Marco!' could be heard from the two boys still sitting at the table, who were poised to intervene should the scuffle become too violent.

"You scum," she snarled. "We gave you everything we had left. We trusted you with our _lives_ , you piece of shit. And this is how treat us? You _lie_ to us? You let that bastard _use_ us for his own purposes?"

"Annie," Bertholdt pleaded. "It's not his fault, he didn't know."

"Oh, it's his fault, all right," she retorted, shaking the boy in her grips and slamming him back against the wooden doors. "If he had been there, then we might not have been caught. Had we been given _proper orders_ , we might have been able to figure it out sooner. We wouldn't have had to _kill_ all of those innocent people if we'd had _someone there for us._ You abandoned us, Marco. Why? No," she continued when her question was met with tense silence, "I want an actual answer. Why did you leave us, without so much as an explanation, or a goodbye?"

"You aren't going to like my answer," Marco spoke finally, his voice so quiet the two males sitting at the table could just scarcely hear him.

"Try me," Annie replied, letting go of his shirt and stepping back.

Marco's eyes fell to the floor and his voice became a mere murmur under his breath.

"Speak up," she spat, and his gaze drifted to the side, looking anywhere but at her.

"I let my emotions get the better of me."

"You let your emotions get the better of you," she parroted. "What the hell is that supposed to-"

Annie's eyes widened in realization and her jaw dropped as Marco's guilt-ridden stare dropped back to his feet. "...Him? You have got to be kidding me. You left us for Jean-fucking-Kirschtein?!"

"Not for him," he spoke sharply, his gaze snapping up to meet Annie's crystal blue eyes. " _Because_ of him. I was in too deep, and I needed to get out. He's smarter than most people think, and if I didn't get out right then, he would have figured it out."

"Oh, that's complete horse shit," the female replied. "That's not why you left, and you know it. You left because you knew they would find out, and you couldn't bear the thought of your precious little Jean seeing who you really are, what you really are." She chuckled humorlessly. "You're a coward, Marco Bodt. The biggest I've ever known."

A moment of silence followed Annie's statement, until-

"You're not wrong,” Marco began. "Part of the reason why I left was out of fear of him finding out. I didn't want him to see what I am, because I can't stand the idea of being a monster in his eyes, the idea of losing yet another person I've come to care about. I am a coward, Annie. I deserted the three of you, and I know now that I was wrong to do so. What I didn't do, however, was use you for my own purposes. I gave you a choice whether to follow me or not, I gave you all the information I had, and until a year ago, I stood beside you and did my damndest to protect you. You seem to be forgetting that he used me as well. I truly did believe that we were fighting for humanity: otherwise, do you really think I would have gone through with the Shiganshina mission, or even the Trost mission? I love humanity. And I love you guys even more. I think of you as not only my partners, but my friends. So don't, for even a minute, don't you fucking _dare_ insinuate otherwise!"

The three teens stared at Marco, frozen, with wide shocked eyes, unsure how to proceed. In all their years of knowing one another, they'd never seen Marco so openly lose his temper, or utter a single curse, for that matter. The sight was both unnerving, and downright terrifying.

"I-" Annie stuttered, all anger and confidence diminished. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Yes, you did," Marco interrupted, his voice ice cold. "But that doesn't matter. What matters now is that we're all on the same page. Have I made myself clear enough?"

"...Yes," she replied, defeated.

" _Yes what?"_

Annie swallowed hard. "Yes, sir."

**********

"Alright everyone, listen up!" Erwin called out to the crowded lecture room. All the soldiers sitting in the room fell silent and turned their attention to the Commander, who stood at the front of the room, and the Corporal on his left.

"As you all know, we leave for our expedition into Wall Maria from Karanese in a week's time. Our goal, first and foremost, is to map out a supply route into the towns of Wall Maria, and eventually make our way into the town of Shiganshina."

Aside from Erwin's voice, the room was dead silent, all soldiers listening with rapt attention. Even Sasha and Connie were giving 100% of their attention to the lecture, rather than goofing off as they normally do.

"You've all already been briefed by your squad leaders on each of your squad's position. This briefing is simply to go over the dangers that await us on the field. Of course, every time we leave the confines of the Walls, we risk our lives being taken. However, this time our lives will be in jeopardy more so than others. As I'm sure you are all aware, Annie Leonhardt escaped yesterday evening, and we have yet to locate her whereabouts. She is a titan shifter, taking on the form of the Female Titan, and is considered highly dangerous."

Levi spoke up from Erwin's side. "If you see the Female Titan on the battlefield, or any titan you think may be being controlled by a human, _do not attack it._ You will not be able to take it down by yourself. Report it to either myself or the Commander, so our course of action may be altered. "

"Alright, I believe that's all-"

"Just a moment, Levi," Erwin interrupted before turning back to the audience.

"Up until now, we've only known the identities of two titan shifters; Eren Jaeger, and Annie Leonhardt. However, today we've received the names of two possible suspected shifters."

"Erwin..." Levi warned. Erwin ignored him and continued speaking.

"Two recruits disappeared either late last night, or early this morning; Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Fubar. I'm certain that most of you have met them at least once."

The majority of the room nodded, their faces expressing a mixture of shock and confusion.

"The two boys were known to be quite close to Leonhardt in their trainee days, and both have not been seen since last night: the night that the Female Titan escaped. We have no evidence to prove that Braun and Fubar are working with Leonhardt. Nonetheless, should any of you see them, you're to report it to Corporal Levi or myself immediately. Understood?"

A resounding 'Yes, sir!' rang through the room.

"Alright then." Erwin nodded at the soldiers.

"Dismissed."

**********

"So, where do we go from here?"

The four teens all sat at the table once more, continuing their meeting. The atmosphere had calmed down significantly, but the prior fight had left a heavy, uncomfortable silence in its wake; Reiner being the first to break the strong silence.

All eyes turned to Marco, who- to his own as well as the others' great relief- had regained his composure.

"Well, that depends," he began. "are you wanting to fight with, or against the survey corps?"

"What does that mean, Marco?" Bertholdt inquired softly. "The situation isn't nearly as black and white as that. When we were fighting alongside Demetrius, we were against the survey corps. 

"Perhaps I should rephrase the question. You now know what Demetrius is planning to do, and what his intentions are. I'll let you know right now; I will not participate in his plan. When I started, I was fighting to help humanity _win_ this war: not to intentionally lose, and start over. My perspective on that hasn't changed. So," Marco looked right at Annie as he spoke his next words.

"Will you follow Demetrius, or do you trust me enough to stay with me?"

The freckled teen fell silent, surveying his comrades expectantly and waiting for an answer.

"I trust you," Reiner spoke up, looking to the others.

"Me too..." Bertholdt said, smiling slightly. Marco turned his eyes back to the blonde female, who sighed and closed her eyes, before nodding in agreement.

Marco smiled genuinely at the three of them.

"Good. Then, we can continue. We now have a single goal in mind: we must protect the one person who has had it right from the beginning, and is already fighting for humanity with everything he's got."

"We must protect Eren."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm now tracking the tumblr tag  
> Fic: Shatter  
> If you want to know immediately about updates, I'll be posting them there.  
> Until next time! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Credits to my beta, for going over my horrible punctuation, sentence structure, coming up with the title, and helping me write the summary ---> http://archiveofourown.org/users/mercuryandglass/


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